Meet Jacquie, Australia, diagnosed 2002
"We decided it was time our little Chelsea had a playmate and lo and behold 2 months after trying we became pregnant. I was 7 days overdue and we did a home test, it was positive. Feeling pretty good about that, I went to get a blood test on 31 July to confirm, but then a week later I got my period. A bit of a bummer; back to the drawing board!
I had a normal period in August and then on October 13th everything went haywire.
We were due to have our family room painted and whilst having a cuppa with the painter I collapsed. The previous day I had some tingling, numbness in my right leg and hopped on the couch for a bit; it passed. The next time my whole right side went numb; I had blurred speech and vision, and I couldn’t move my body but I could tell I had lost bowel control. My daughter lay her head on my chest and my husband thought I was having some sort of fit.
He rang the ambulance, which took 8 minutes and by the time they arrived ,I was beginning to get some feeling back in my body. After about 15 minutes, they helped me up and I seemed fine. Mind you I realized then that I was 14 days overdue and we suspected, I was pregnant again. When the medics left, I went to the bathroom then walked back down to the kitchen and I collapsed again; so back came the ambulance, however, this time it was a trip to the hospital where they conducted blood work, ECG, CT Scan and monitoring. The results showed I was pregnant with a HCG level of 115 and they sent me for an ultrasound. They could not detect a baby, but weren’t fazed, as it was only very early into the pregnancy.
I spent a week in hospital, collapsing every day. Prior to a collapsing episode I had no control over my body as if I was standing or sitting my body would just slide to the ground; where I lay seeing stars. I was unable to move my head until the stars passed and then I always ended up with a shocking migraine afterwards. A neurologist diagnosed me with gestational migraines and gave me Inderal to help prevent them. I had an EEG test done which showed minor abnormalities, but again they weren’t very worried.
After returning home, I needed 24/7 care as I needed help to take care of our little girl who was 2 years old. It was suggested that I find myself a gynecologists and this one doctor came highly recommended. He had not seen a case of gestational migraines in years; I think he was quite excited by this. When he performed an ultrasound, he could not detect a baby. By this time I should have been at least 7 weeks pregnant. He believed I had miscarried and sent me off for an internal ultrasound. Blood work was showing I still had an elevated HCG count which they found interesting. I asked if a D&C be the best option and the doctor advised against this, believing my body would right itself. My neurologist ordered an MRI and the results were normal. Life was becoming very frustrating by this stage; I was feeling awful most of the time, yet trying to maintain a brave face with everyone. What could be wrong with me….. My gyno decided to induce a period for me and placed me on 1 months worth of hormone tablets in a week. I got a period a week later, which lasted 3 days. He believed this would fix the issues. It did indeed not.
I received another ultrasound which confirmed there was no pregnancy. Time was passing and I was still collapsing, though not as often. More blood tests revealed my HCG was still rising slowly from 263 to 350. I was sent back for an ultrasound, this time looking for an Ectopic, blighted ovum or baby elsewhere. For 40 minutes I lay there whilst they completed an internal ultrasound where they could not find a baby or see any issues. The ultrasound clinic doctor decided a chest scan was next on the list as a hormone level could be found there. All the doctors kept saying we don’t want it to be that. I was at Playgroup with my daughter when I took a call advising me the results of my chest scan showed a 2.45 cm mass lesion on the apex of my right lung. WOW, what did that mean...I felt sick to my stomach with worry. I was supposed to be pregnant.
I was then referred to a thoracic surgeon; she was a character. She could not diagnose me without doing a lung biopsy. As Christmas 02 was nearing the only date I could get was 24/12, considering I would be sore for a day or so, we decided to wait until after New Year. So, on 4th January my husband took me to Dandenong Hospital where I underwent the biopsy. To do this, xrays/scans were taken and I received local anesthetic in the area. They took 2 needle samples, however the doctor felt they were not sufficient to obtain an outcome from. I then underwent a core biopsy and the sample was sent to pathology.
Awaiting the results was pretty weird; one part of me thought, "Oh my god, what could it be?" and the other part didn’t want to know. On Monday, January 7th, I decided a cuppa and chat with Lynny was in order. At 9.30 pm her phone rang. It was my husband saying he had my results and to come home… he sounded awful. I was petrified of the news to come. That instant I knew I had a major problem. Lynny drove me home and Darren gave me the dreadful news. I had been diagnosed with Choriocarcinoma, which is a cancer that develops in the placenta from falling pregnant. Sorry, what? I fell pregnant…now I’m being told my baby gave me a very rare cancer. Deep down I’d had a feeling that I had a major health problem, I just didn’t expect it to be a cancer caused from trying to have a baby. My hubby had already rang mum and she came straight over and said the nicest thing to me; she wished it was her so she could take this suffering from me.
I rang the family and Lynny and Tricia, who were all speechless. That night I stayed up all night, trying to understand what was going on. Nothing made sense. The next day we had an appointment at the Royal Women’s Hospital to see a professor, a gynaecological oncologist. He asked why it had taken 3 months for me to see him! He told us I was a textbook case, though this form of cancer was very rare with only 1500 women in Australia having been diagnosed with it. He said the survival success rate was quite high these days, with 85-90% success rate. The treatment had improved greatly, luckily, because if it had been 20 years earlier I would have died from this disease.
He explained that I would need approx. 6 months of chemotherapy instantly and the treatment would begin the following Monday, January 14th. My hair would fall out and I would experience many side effects from the treatment. It was like a daze hearing this news. Prof. took us to the chemo room where I nearly passed out from the shock of seeing so many bald women sitting around receiving treatment. The following day I was to undertake a PET scan (a full body scan). I was one of the first patients in Melbourne to receive this scan. It took a long time and I felt so alone with no one talking to me, no music, just silence and unable to move. I was so very scared. Afterwards my husband took me wig shopping and although it was horrific doing it ,we did buy a nice one.
The week was spent hardly sleeping or eating, telling people the news. How do you tell those close to you such horrible news? How awful it was to watch everyone try to accept the news, let alone believe it. My support has been fantastic with offerings of help, from cleaning, cooking you name it.
My rock has been Darren, for without his unconditional support I doubted I could cope with this. He said his only purpose in life now is to get me well and then to take us on a big holiday. We have cried so many tears since that fateful night and have talked so very much that it has brought us closer than imaginable. I love him so dearly and it’s not fair that he has to see me suffer like this. It’s hard enough for me to watch him suffering.
We had been explaining to little Chelsea that mummy was sick. She already knew the word hospital because I had already been there. She can say cheemy and canca but how do you tell her that every Monday mummy will be in hospital and then most of the week she will feel like crap?
On Monday, January 14th, we arrived at the Royal Women’s Hospital for the first treatment. I couldn’t even speak I was so scared. The nurses were lovely, giving me support, talking me through everything. They inserted an IV line into my right wrist and we began with a dose of steroids and anti-nausea treatment. I then received part of the EMACO treatment, which stood for etoposide, methotrexate, actinomycin D, cyclosphosphamide, vincristine (oncovin). I then received a 10 minute bag, then an hour bag and then the large bag of Methotrexate which was to last 12 hours. I was to stay in hospital overnight every 2nd Monday.
Darren was there for me holding my hand; wiping my tears you name it. It must be so hard for him to see me go through this. I slept in the afternoon and when I awoke I felt very foggy, like having sleepy head. It took a while to work out it was the treatment. My stomach was getting more sore by the minute, a similar pain to being sick with Crohns. Mum and Sharon visited that night and again having to see them see me like this is so heart wrenching. The day went fairly quickly and I sent Darren home about 9pm.
I slept fairly well. Prof. came in about 7.30 am to see me. That was nice. Darren helped me to shower, I had so many tubes and drips hanging off me it was pretty awkward. I felt like a baby. Then it was back to the chemo room for more treatment. Another dose of 10 min and 1 hr. I was pretty teary that morning. The IV started to hurt so we had to stop for 15 minutes. Apparently it’s normal as they pump so much poison into you, the veins play up. We finished up about 1.15pm and were able to go home.
All the family, bar Dad was there and it was great to see little Chelsea. But I had no energy and went to bed for a couple of hours. I now understand the word fatigue; so very tired I was. My stomach is ever so sore and I just felt like a zombie mostly. Everyone has been so good, doing so much for us and Chelsea; how do you thank them enough?
I found this excellent website for women with Chorio, Molar and GDT. It’s been great talking with these ladies and learning from their experience with this terrible disease. I treasure this site and wish everyone in it good luck and happiness.
There are no words to describe chemo after having it for awhile. The fatigue is so very draining you do not function. I got up and faced each day in a fog basically. I ended up having 5 months of treatment, so I guess I was pretty lucky there. Chemo takes your life away from you, but it also gives it back to you if you are one of the lucky ones.
I finished treatment in May and even though I didn’t have a lot of energy, I was zooming around! Just so happy to be finished with it there are no words to describe how good I felt.
My first blood test was on June 6th, and the HCG count needed to be less than 2. The results were shattering for me, my HCG Hormone level was at 48, rising again. I was absolutely devastated by this. I thought maybe this is the end for me now…I thought I was fine - I really did.
Telling our family and friends was so hard, more so than being diagnosed. It was like this time its really serious….what will happen to me? So many thoughts run through your head, its difficult to make sense of mostly, I just kept thinking, "No, this isn’t going to beat me." You just find something in you to draw on, inner strength I guess and it keeps you going every single day.
So it was back to my oncologist again who was as shocked as we were to hear the news, said it 'wasn’t normal'…then told me all about the next chemotherapy regime I should start. That was the worst news! I never want to experience chemo again! There had to be another way... So now my body needed to be re-scanned again to find the tumor. The scans showed a spot on the right lung and a spot on the liver. We visited the specialists who decided my liver was fine but there appeared to be residual tumor in the right lung. For the month June 6 to July 10 we waited for results, answers and a decision on what treatment was the best option for me. I kept hoping it was an error, that it would just go away, but it didn’t and deep down I knew the road ahead was going to be harder this time.
Whilst waiting for one of many appointments, Darren and I walked through a park. There was a fountain there and Darren held me tightly and threw a coin. We were both wishing for the same thing…..That memory is so beautiful it will stay with me forever.
Very sadly, my grandmother had been very ill and not able to visit me during treatment. I was able to see her just before she passed on 8th of July. It was such a sad time for my Mum, to lose her own mother, and have her daughter so very sick at the same time. Miss you Grandma x
My lung specialist rang on July 9th to advise an operation was the best option and they could do it the next day. There was no time to think-I was going back to hospital in two hours. There are no words to describe how scared I was then, to be having major lung surgery very soon.
Darren took me to hospital and sat with me again. He then came back at 6am the next morning prior to surgery. There wasn’t a lot of chatting done, but the silence said it all. I was petrified to say the least, but to have Darren by my side made it so much easier to do. His love, strength and Chelsea’s smile kept pushing me to beat this cancer.
The operation went really well and the doctor removed “a large slice of cake” from my lung, which was active with Choriocarinoma cancer. At least it wasn’t a wasted operation! But the pain I was experiencing was beyond anything I could ever imagine. I spent the next week in a fog of painkillers hardly being able to move. It hurt so much I couldn’t even cry…
I returned home; I had nothing left in the tank. I weighed about 43 kg, had no energy as I hadn’t recovered from the chemotherapy treatment, and the pain I was in was really frightening me. It was there constantly and to be honest I didn’t think it would ever go away. Living in pain each day clouds every thought you have and I guess I expected to bounce back a lot quicker.
My lung specialist rang with my hormone level results 2 weeks post-op and they were less than one, which is the best they had ever been. That news gave me something to believe in again, to know deep inside that just maybe I would become well again and beat this.
With this excellent news we planned our holiday to Queensland for early August. But the reality of everything that had happened was starting to sink in now, and I fell apart. I was beginning to panic about my next blood test and got pretty depressed. For some reason that next one was more important to me and I realized I was just totally exhausted from fighting for so long. No one explains how you are supposed to move forward once all the treatment is over. Yes, I value my life so much more now, but when you stop your hospital routines and tests and are told to get on with life again you wonder how exactly do you do that?
I sent Darren and Chelsea ahead to Queensland and went to stay with my Mum. She cared for me and I could finally relax without having to pretend all was ok. I did not know how to deal with everything life had thrown at me these past 8 months.
I joined my family in QLD 2 weeks later. They were both so very happy to see me; my daughter ran into my arms. I was rocking a very short hairdo as it was just starting to grow back now. We had lots to catch up on. Little Chelsea makes it all worthwhile! Her beautiful smile makes you really appreciate the little things life can offer. But, I was exhausted, and tried so hard to keep up with them when all I really wanted to do was sit on the deck in the sun each day. This had taken a massive toll on my husband who was not coping with my current situation.
The expectations I had of myself were way too high though, and it took a lot to realize I had to let my body heal and recover again. It had been through 9 months of hell, yet I expected it to bounce back after a short time. I have learnt so much about myself through this experience; I used to be so busy all the time -constantly on the go. I rarely took time for me, to smell the roses as they say. I do it now though; I have always been interested in self-help books and positive thinking. Since being diagnosed I have devoured so many books, not just on cancer, but anything that I thought would help. To be positive is one thing – to stay positive when you are faced with the possibility of dying is another. But you do, because there is so much to live for. I want to see Chelsea grow up, I want to grow old with Darren and most of all I want to experience as much of life as possible.
I just had my 3 month appointment with the Prof. He is extremely happy with my progress – 3months in the clear now!
I can’t thank everyone enough for their support and help this year; the unconditional love you get from family and friends is fantastic.
I hope my story will bring the awareness of Choriocarcinoma to every woman in Australia. It is a very rare form of placental cancer, but it is also one of the most curable!
Life is getting back to normal – whatever that is now. So much has changed for me and my family since diagnosis. We are now rebuilding our lives and I am thankful I am one of the lucky ones, and I will cherish each and every day.
Fast forward to 2004 and my marriage broke down for a number of reasons… My beautiful Chelsea Grace and I moved on to a new life and are so very close.
This month, July 2020 I celebrated 18 years cancer free. All this happened so very long ago now, yet I can picture it like it was yesterday. Chemotherapy changed me so much, I lost my immune system and became allergic to so many things – foods, animals, grasses and the list goes on. My eyes still water which started after chemo treatment. I have very little short term memory, which the medical professionals now accept is a part of having treatment. I have learnt to live with all these changes; it hasn’t been easy along the way, but I am alive. I never had anymore children which is something I have struggled with but I was so very blessed to have one gorgeous daughter who continues to make me laugh and love life."
I had a normal period in August and then on October 13th everything went haywire.
We were due to have our family room painted and whilst having a cuppa with the painter I collapsed. The previous day I had some tingling, numbness in my right leg and hopped on the couch for a bit; it passed. The next time my whole right side went numb; I had blurred speech and vision, and I couldn’t move my body but I could tell I had lost bowel control. My daughter lay her head on my chest and my husband thought I was having some sort of fit.
He rang the ambulance, which took 8 minutes and by the time they arrived ,I was beginning to get some feeling back in my body. After about 15 minutes, they helped me up and I seemed fine. Mind you I realized then that I was 14 days overdue and we suspected, I was pregnant again. When the medics left, I went to the bathroom then walked back down to the kitchen and I collapsed again; so back came the ambulance, however, this time it was a trip to the hospital where they conducted blood work, ECG, CT Scan and monitoring. The results showed I was pregnant with a HCG level of 115 and they sent me for an ultrasound. They could not detect a baby, but weren’t fazed, as it was only very early into the pregnancy.
I spent a week in hospital, collapsing every day. Prior to a collapsing episode I had no control over my body as if I was standing or sitting my body would just slide to the ground; where I lay seeing stars. I was unable to move my head until the stars passed and then I always ended up with a shocking migraine afterwards. A neurologist diagnosed me with gestational migraines and gave me Inderal to help prevent them. I had an EEG test done which showed minor abnormalities, but again they weren’t very worried.
After returning home, I needed 24/7 care as I needed help to take care of our little girl who was 2 years old. It was suggested that I find myself a gynecologists and this one doctor came highly recommended. He had not seen a case of gestational migraines in years; I think he was quite excited by this. When he performed an ultrasound, he could not detect a baby. By this time I should have been at least 7 weeks pregnant. He believed I had miscarried and sent me off for an internal ultrasound. Blood work was showing I still had an elevated HCG count which they found interesting. I asked if a D&C be the best option and the doctor advised against this, believing my body would right itself. My neurologist ordered an MRI and the results were normal. Life was becoming very frustrating by this stage; I was feeling awful most of the time, yet trying to maintain a brave face with everyone. What could be wrong with me….. My gyno decided to induce a period for me and placed me on 1 months worth of hormone tablets in a week. I got a period a week later, which lasted 3 days. He believed this would fix the issues. It did indeed not.
I received another ultrasound which confirmed there was no pregnancy. Time was passing and I was still collapsing, though not as often. More blood tests revealed my HCG was still rising slowly from 263 to 350. I was sent back for an ultrasound, this time looking for an Ectopic, blighted ovum or baby elsewhere. For 40 minutes I lay there whilst they completed an internal ultrasound where they could not find a baby or see any issues. The ultrasound clinic doctor decided a chest scan was next on the list as a hormone level could be found there. All the doctors kept saying we don’t want it to be that. I was at Playgroup with my daughter when I took a call advising me the results of my chest scan showed a 2.45 cm mass lesion on the apex of my right lung. WOW, what did that mean...I felt sick to my stomach with worry. I was supposed to be pregnant.
I was then referred to a thoracic surgeon; she was a character. She could not diagnose me without doing a lung biopsy. As Christmas 02 was nearing the only date I could get was 24/12, considering I would be sore for a day or so, we decided to wait until after New Year. So, on 4th January my husband took me to Dandenong Hospital where I underwent the biopsy. To do this, xrays/scans were taken and I received local anesthetic in the area. They took 2 needle samples, however the doctor felt they were not sufficient to obtain an outcome from. I then underwent a core biopsy and the sample was sent to pathology.
Awaiting the results was pretty weird; one part of me thought, "Oh my god, what could it be?" and the other part didn’t want to know. On Monday, January 7th, I decided a cuppa and chat with Lynny was in order. At 9.30 pm her phone rang. It was my husband saying he had my results and to come home… he sounded awful. I was petrified of the news to come. That instant I knew I had a major problem. Lynny drove me home and Darren gave me the dreadful news. I had been diagnosed with Choriocarcinoma, which is a cancer that develops in the placenta from falling pregnant. Sorry, what? I fell pregnant…now I’m being told my baby gave me a very rare cancer. Deep down I’d had a feeling that I had a major health problem, I just didn’t expect it to be a cancer caused from trying to have a baby. My hubby had already rang mum and she came straight over and said the nicest thing to me; she wished it was her so she could take this suffering from me.
I rang the family and Lynny and Tricia, who were all speechless. That night I stayed up all night, trying to understand what was going on. Nothing made sense. The next day we had an appointment at the Royal Women’s Hospital to see a professor, a gynaecological oncologist. He asked why it had taken 3 months for me to see him! He told us I was a textbook case, though this form of cancer was very rare with only 1500 women in Australia having been diagnosed with it. He said the survival success rate was quite high these days, with 85-90% success rate. The treatment had improved greatly, luckily, because if it had been 20 years earlier I would have died from this disease.
He explained that I would need approx. 6 months of chemotherapy instantly and the treatment would begin the following Monday, January 14th. My hair would fall out and I would experience many side effects from the treatment. It was like a daze hearing this news. Prof. took us to the chemo room where I nearly passed out from the shock of seeing so many bald women sitting around receiving treatment. The following day I was to undertake a PET scan (a full body scan). I was one of the first patients in Melbourne to receive this scan. It took a long time and I felt so alone with no one talking to me, no music, just silence and unable to move. I was so very scared. Afterwards my husband took me wig shopping and although it was horrific doing it ,we did buy a nice one.
The week was spent hardly sleeping or eating, telling people the news. How do you tell those close to you such horrible news? How awful it was to watch everyone try to accept the news, let alone believe it. My support has been fantastic with offerings of help, from cleaning, cooking you name it.
My rock has been Darren, for without his unconditional support I doubted I could cope with this. He said his only purpose in life now is to get me well and then to take us on a big holiday. We have cried so many tears since that fateful night and have talked so very much that it has brought us closer than imaginable. I love him so dearly and it’s not fair that he has to see me suffer like this. It’s hard enough for me to watch him suffering.
We had been explaining to little Chelsea that mummy was sick. She already knew the word hospital because I had already been there. She can say cheemy and canca but how do you tell her that every Monday mummy will be in hospital and then most of the week she will feel like crap?
On Monday, January 14th, we arrived at the Royal Women’s Hospital for the first treatment. I couldn’t even speak I was so scared. The nurses were lovely, giving me support, talking me through everything. They inserted an IV line into my right wrist and we began with a dose of steroids and anti-nausea treatment. I then received part of the EMACO treatment, which stood for etoposide, methotrexate, actinomycin D, cyclosphosphamide, vincristine (oncovin). I then received a 10 minute bag, then an hour bag and then the large bag of Methotrexate which was to last 12 hours. I was to stay in hospital overnight every 2nd Monday.
Darren was there for me holding my hand; wiping my tears you name it. It must be so hard for him to see me go through this. I slept in the afternoon and when I awoke I felt very foggy, like having sleepy head. It took a while to work out it was the treatment. My stomach was getting more sore by the minute, a similar pain to being sick with Crohns. Mum and Sharon visited that night and again having to see them see me like this is so heart wrenching. The day went fairly quickly and I sent Darren home about 9pm.
I slept fairly well. Prof. came in about 7.30 am to see me. That was nice. Darren helped me to shower, I had so many tubes and drips hanging off me it was pretty awkward. I felt like a baby. Then it was back to the chemo room for more treatment. Another dose of 10 min and 1 hr. I was pretty teary that morning. The IV started to hurt so we had to stop for 15 minutes. Apparently it’s normal as they pump so much poison into you, the veins play up. We finished up about 1.15pm and were able to go home.
All the family, bar Dad was there and it was great to see little Chelsea. But I had no energy and went to bed for a couple of hours. I now understand the word fatigue; so very tired I was. My stomach is ever so sore and I just felt like a zombie mostly. Everyone has been so good, doing so much for us and Chelsea; how do you thank them enough?
I found this excellent website for women with Chorio, Molar and GDT. It’s been great talking with these ladies and learning from their experience with this terrible disease. I treasure this site and wish everyone in it good luck and happiness.
There are no words to describe chemo after having it for awhile. The fatigue is so very draining you do not function. I got up and faced each day in a fog basically. I ended up having 5 months of treatment, so I guess I was pretty lucky there. Chemo takes your life away from you, but it also gives it back to you if you are one of the lucky ones.
I finished treatment in May and even though I didn’t have a lot of energy, I was zooming around! Just so happy to be finished with it there are no words to describe how good I felt.
My first blood test was on June 6th, and the HCG count needed to be less than 2. The results were shattering for me, my HCG Hormone level was at 48, rising again. I was absolutely devastated by this. I thought maybe this is the end for me now…I thought I was fine - I really did.
Telling our family and friends was so hard, more so than being diagnosed. It was like this time its really serious….what will happen to me? So many thoughts run through your head, its difficult to make sense of mostly, I just kept thinking, "No, this isn’t going to beat me." You just find something in you to draw on, inner strength I guess and it keeps you going every single day.
So it was back to my oncologist again who was as shocked as we were to hear the news, said it 'wasn’t normal'…then told me all about the next chemotherapy regime I should start. That was the worst news! I never want to experience chemo again! There had to be another way... So now my body needed to be re-scanned again to find the tumor. The scans showed a spot on the right lung and a spot on the liver. We visited the specialists who decided my liver was fine but there appeared to be residual tumor in the right lung. For the month June 6 to July 10 we waited for results, answers and a decision on what treatment was the best option for me. I kept hoping it was an error, that it would just go away, but it didn’t and deep down I knew the road ahead was going to be harder this time.
Whilst waiting for one of many appointments, Darren and I walked through a park. There was a fountain there and Darren held me tightly and threw a coin. We were both wishing for the same thing…..That memory is so beautiful it will stay with me forever.
Very sadly, my grandmother had been very ill and not able to visit me during treatment. I was able to see her just before she passed on 8th of July. It was such a sad time for my Mum, to lose her own mother, and have her daughter so very sick at the same time. Miss you Grandma x
My lung specialist rang on July 9th to advise an operation was the best option and they could do it the next day. There was no time to think-I was going back to hospital in two hours. There are no words to describe how scared I was then, to be having major lung surgery very soon.
Darren took me to hospital and sat with me again. He then came back at 6am the next morning prior to surgery. There wasn’t a lot of chatting done, but the silence said it all. I was petrified to say the least, but to have Darren by my side made it so much easier to do. His love, strength and Chelsea’s smile kept pushing me to beat this cancer.
The operation went really well and the doctor removed “a large slice of cake” from my lung, which was active with Choriocarinoma cancer. At least it wasn’t a wasted operation! But the pain I was experiencing was beyond anything I could ever imagine. I spent the next week in a fog of painkillers hardly being able to move. It hurt so much I couldn’t even cry…
I returned home; I had nothing left in the tank. I weighed about 43 kg, had no energy as I hadn’t recovered from the chemotherapy treatment, and the pain I was in was really frightening me. It was there constantly and to be honest I didn’t think it would ever go away. Living in pain each day clouds every thought you have and I guess I expected to bounce back a lot quicker.
My lung specialist rang with my hormone level results 2 weeks post-op and they were less than one, which is the best they had ever been. That news gave me something to believe in again, to know deep inside that just maybe I would become well again and beat this.
With this excellent news we planned our holiday to Queensland for early August. But the reality of everything that had happened was starting to sink in now, and I fell apart. I was beginning to panic about my next blood test and got pretty depressed. For some reason that next one was more important to me and I realized I was just totally exhausted from fighting for so long. No one explains how you are supposed to move forward once all the treatment is over. Yes, I value my life so much more now, but when you stop your hospital routines and tests and are told to get on with life again you wonder how exactly do you do that?
I sent Darren and Chelsea ahead to Queensland and went to stay with my Mum. She cared for me and I could finally relax without having to pretend all was ok. I did not know how to deal with everything life had thrown at me these past 8 months.
I joined my family in QLD 2 weeks later. They were both so very happy to see me; my daughter ran into my arms. I was rocking a very short hairdo as it was just starting to grow back now. We had lots to catch up on. Little Chelsea makes it all worthwhile! Her beautiful smile makes you really appreciate the little things life can offer. But, I was exhausted, and tried so hard to keep up with them when all I really wanted to do was sit on the deck in the sun each day. This had taken a massive toll on my husband who was not coping with my current situation.
The expectations I had of myself were way too high though, and it took a lot to realize I had to let my body heal and recover again. It had been through 9 months of hell, yet I expected it to bounce back after a short time. I have learnt so much about myself through this experience; I used to be so busy all the time -constantly on the go. I rarely took time for me, to smell the roses as they say. I do it now though; I have always been interested in self-help books and positive thinking. Since being diagnosed I have devoured so many books, not just on cancer, but anything that I thought would help. To be positive is one thing – to stay positive when you are faced with the possibility of dying is another. But you do, because there is so much to live for. I want to see Chelsea grow up, I want to grow old with Darren and most of all I want to experience as much of life as possible.
I just had my 3 month appointment with the Prof. He is extremely happy with my progress – 3months in the clear now!
I can’t thank everyone enough for their support and help this year; the unconditional love you get from family and friends is fantastic.
I hope my story will bring the awareness of Choriocarcinoma to every woman in Australia. It is a very rare form of placental cancer, but it is also one of the most curable!
Life is getting back to normal – whatever that is now. So much has changed for me and my family since diagnosis. We are now rebuilding our lives and I am thankful I am one of the lucky ones, and I will cherish each and every day.
Fast forward to 2004 and my marriage broke down for a number of reasons… My beautiful Chelsea Grace and I moved on to a new life and are so very close.
This month, July 2020 I celebrated 18 years cancer free. All this happened so very long ago now, yet I can picture it like it was yesterday. Chemotherapy changed me so much, I lost my immune system and became allergic to so many things – foods, animals, grasses and the list goes on. My eyes still water which started after chemo treatment. I have very little short term memory, which the medical professionals now accept is a part of having treatment. I have learnt to live with all these changes; it hasn’t been easy along the way, but I am alive. I never had anymore children which is something I have struggled with but I was so very blessed to have one gorgeous daughter who continues to make me laugh and love life."
