It was late September 2010 after well over a year trying for a baby, I found out was pregnant. I was excited and nervous all at the same time. It had been two weeks since I found out when I started to get cramps and bleeding. I was taken to the hospital to be told that had a complete molar pregnancy and there was a 1% percent that it would turn cancerous. When I was first told I was confused because I had never heard of molar pregnancy and I was also upset and couldn’t understand. Why me? After my D&C in October, I thought that I would try and deal with what had happen and wait until I could try again; never did I think I would get a phone call to hear 'you are either pregnant or you have gestational trophoblastic disease'.
My partner and I had to travel to London to attend Charing Cross for blood and scan to see what was causing my HCG levels to rise. Within an hour of blood test and a scan, I was taken into a room where I would stay and was told I had gestational trophoblastic disease, and because I was only 20 at the time, a hysterectomy wasn’t an option so I would start chemotherapy (ema/co) straight away. The chemotherapy I would be receiving might affect my chances of having any children. At first I think I didn’t believe it even when my chemo had started. I felt just like a dream that I couldn’t wake up from. I also felt for my partner and his family as 4 months before my diagnosis he had lost his mother to cancer, and now they had to see me go through chemotherapy.
The first few rounds of treatment I didn’t feel too sick. Around the 4th week I started to lose my hair little bits at a time. When I lost all my hair, I started to feel down and didn’t want to leave the house. I would get panic attacks when I had to leave the house because people would ask about my wig which left me uncomfortable. I think everything had hit me all at once and thinking back, I don’t think I ever processed what had happened until well after I was in remission. I don’t know what I would have done without the support of my partners family, my family and my partner; he was my rock through out it all.
After I was in remission, I found the Facebook page for women who have went through what I had. It was comforting to know how I felt was normal and how we can help others who need it, to remind them they are all strong; we are fighters. I am now nine years in remission and am blessed with two beautiful children that I was unsure that would ever happen to me. They are my miracles! They remind me how lucky I am every day! To anyone who thinks it will never happen, don’t give up!